Liam’s First Day of Preschool

My little man went off to preschool today. I haven’t cried like I planned to, but I’m not ruling it out yet, the day is still young. What a surreal feeling to have both the kids in school.
Liam was very anxious and nervous this morning, though the pictures won’t show that. Once he was in front of a camera he turned on the sunshine. Lol. He seemed to get upset about every little thing this morning… he even tried on at least three different outfits before he was finally comfortable (they were too itchy or too cold or too long or too short.) He finally decided on his favorite cream colored sweater. It’s my favorite, too. I think I bought it for him when he was 2 years old, way over-sized so he could grow into it. He’s almost grown out of it now, but I’m glad he had it today, almost like a security blanket.

He really does love being in front of a camera. As soon as we went out onto the front porch and he saw his “preschool” banner his whole mood changed and he started posing. “Mom, I’m going to be an alligator because they’re my favorite animal…”

 

Alligator

 

He went through a series of animal poses, showing me each of his favorites, lol!

 

Monkey

Frog

Gorilla

 

Snake

 

Lion

Then, in true mom-fashion, I asked him to pose like a prince and the result was hilarious.

 

Can you imagine Prince George posing like this? Haha. I wonder what the Duchess of Cambridge says to George during photo shoots? Lol.

After we finished taking all the photos and were looking through them, Liam saw the last one above and said, “Mommy, it looks like a penis picture!” “What?!” I said, laughing to myself because I couldn’t help but notice it, too. Then he says, “Yeah, it looks like I’m trying to hide my penis! Hahaha. But I wasn’t trying to!” So many giggles over this one.

Of course, my little “Charming,” turned on the charm and busted out these sweet smiles, too.

After we took the photos, we sat down to spend a few quiet minutes together and look through the photos and I attempted to get some photos of the two of us, rather unsuccessfully. Definitely wished that my hubby could’ve been here today to take pictures with us and see his little man off to school, but we did get to FaceTime before we left for school, so thank goodness for today’s technology. (The hubs is in Houston working (insurance claims) for the foreseeable future.)

Before I could process everything, Liam was standing in line, ready to go to class. He took his Paw Patrol water bottle and the Mickey Mouse backpack that his Aunt Sammy gave him and marched off to class, proud as can be. And mommy couldn’t be prouder!

To my charming, Liam:

You’re an amazing boy, and you’re going to do amazing things. This is just the beginning of a wonderful journey. Have courage, be faithful and kind, and have fun!

To my mom

When I think about my mom and her true essence, I think of the sea. Not because she loves the sea but because she’s so much like the water. Ever-changing, ever flowing, moving in and out of all of life’s circumstances with strength and grace. 

Mother’s Day is not just a day to show appreciation for my mom outwardly but to reflect inwardly on how she’s made me into who I am today. That includes how my mothering has been influenced by her. I know that I’m a worry-wort just like her, and I see her worry about her grandchildren now the same way she worried about my sister and I as kids (and even now, I’m sure.) 

But I also know she let me grow on my own, always there to help when I needed her, but never interfering in my exploration of the world. 

I hope that one day my children will look back on their childhood and realize not just how much I fretted over every decision I made regarding their childhood and their development, but how much I actively tried to help them grow into strong, kind humans without hovering over them. 

I know looking back at pictures of my mom and me I feel a rushing wave of assurance and comfort that only a mother’s love can conjure. 

Dear Mom, 

Thank you for being my mom and for every moment you’ve devoted to parenting me. 

Mom on a Mission

Hi, Friends! I’m Stephanie. Thanks for stopping by my blog! Here are some quick facts about me:

1. I’m married to an Insurance Adjuster, we’re going on eight years married, and he’s awesome.
2. We have two kids: Evelyn is five years old and Liam is four. They’re awesome.
3. I love singing. Mostly Disney music. I play the guitar, violin, and I plunk the piano. I have a degree in Theatre that I’m not using at all. Well, I sing on the Praise Team at our church.
4. One year ago we relocated from Orlando, Florida to Upstate New York. I actually love it here, but I do miss Disney World (and our family members there, too!)
5. I love coffee, peanut butter, whipped cream, Disney, Target, soft blankets, chick-flicks, Christmas (music, decor, celebrations, Jesus, not in that order), and excel sheets, budgeting, meal planning, nutrition, and so much more. And I plan to share all of it here with you!

So let’s dive into this blog already:

Using the principles of Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University my husband and I have paid off over $50,000 of debt in the last four years. We are officially Debt Free!!! In that time I’ve also spent hours days months years educating myself about nutrition. Unfortunately, the topics of finance and nutrition rarely go together. Finance, nutrition, parenting and personal growth almost never go together. Well, here, I aim to do just that. I aim to bring together all the things that I am passionate about in my life: my kids (motherhood, parenting, and autism), finance (our family’s financial peace and security, and dealing with medical bills), and wellness (which can include so much more than just nutrition or fitness, but also spirituality and faith, dealing with chronic illnesses, and this last one is so important, self-love.)

For my first blog, I wanted to share a little excerpt from a blog I wrote in January of 2011, pre-motherhood, and very full of youthful angst. Bear with me. I promise my writing and perspective have improved since then.

 

As a person who has been on a diet since I was twelve, I consider myself well informed about health and nutrition.  I’ve had four personal trainers and been a member of a gym since I was 14 years old. I’ve repeatedly lost and gained weight back. I understand the science. I’m learning to understand the emotional side of “being healthy.”

As a young person in America, I’ve also had to learn about my finances. I’m twenty-four years old and I have roughly $50,000 in debt, thanks to my college education. I am ashamed to admit that I had no real awareness of my financial situation until about two or three years ago. I can now add “I’ve read books on budgets and finances” to my list as well.

Tonight, I had a startling revelation: Most health authors and most financial authors have messages that contrast with each other so much. Nutritionists and fitness experts write books about how to live healthier and to be more environmentally-friendly. Financial experts tell me that if I can’t afford it I shouldn’t buy it, period. Even if it adds value to my health?

I was browsing through Barnes & Noble this evening. I looked through the business books, the finance books, and the health & diet books. Don’t you love how health is always linked to diet? One minute I was reading about how to save a penny and the next minute I was reading about spending more on better quality foods.

I am the family accountant in our house. (I am also the family nutritionist, meal planner, and chef.) Currently we are striving to start a retirement fund (which a year ago would’ve sounded crazy to me and now seems like  if I don’t start it today we’re going to get screwed in thirty years), an emergency fund (thanks, Dave Ramsey, it’s already helped a lot), a baby fund, and somehow pay down debts, have additional savings on top of that, and pay regular bills. By the time I put money away for the future our paycheck is slim. By the time I pay bills, it’s tight. By the time  I buy groceries, it’s zero.

So these health books, for example, The Eat Clean Diet by Tosca Reno and Jillian Michael’s Metabolism Cookbook upset me a bit. Because not one of them tells you how to balance eating nutritionally with balancing your budget. By the time I would purchase the fresh, organic, all-natural, no preservatives, cage-free, Omega-3, no hormones, anti-biotic free food, I would probably spend double my grocery budget.

Some examples:

I shouldn’t eat real sugar, or even sugar substitutes, I should go to my local farmers’ market and get agave syrup which costs nearly four times more. That one gets me. Do you know how to cook with agave syrup? I don’t. They don’t tell you how in those books, either. They just spout out how good it is for you and how sugar is bad for your skin. Let’s face it, your standard-grocery-brand Cheerios cost $1.49 and Kashi cereal costs 4.59… which one is affordable? A dozen eggs are $2.49 but the cage-free, omega-3 (which is good if your planning for pregnancy) is $4.39. The same goes for cleaning products: bleach is cheaper than the non-toxic cleaners. Why does it cost more to be healthier?

 

My point in sharing that blog is to show you that I’m still working on the same issues I faced back then. But what you’ll find on this blog, is how I’m working through them, and how far I’ve come. Folks, I bought agave syrup for the very first time this week. Six years after I wrote that post. To be honest, I’m just going to use it in place of honey for a few recipes I’m trying this week, nothing fancy. But it was still difficult to pay that much money for something I could’ve gotten cheaper. I’m incredibly frugal (how do you think we paid off $50,000!) And here’s some more honesty for you, I probably won’t buy it again. Eating well and budgeting well is a balancing act. Choices must be made.

It still costs more to eat healthy, in general, but the good news is that the options for healthy, all-natural foods are more available than ever before. And the information is more readily available, too, whether you’re searching for meal plans on google, or recipes on Instagram, or quick workouts on Pinterest. Information is everywhere. What I hope to accomplish with my blog is to bring information from a variety of sources together in one place.

Join me, an average mom, on a journey towards being a healthier, wiser, and kinder mother, wife, friend, and woman. When I learn new things I’ll share them with you here. And when you learn new things please share them with me! Together we can create a community of women improving our own lives and those around us, one day at a time.

Do more. Oh My Goodness, I’m Turning Thirty!

Did you check out that awesome Ariel birthday cake from my sixth birthday? I so wish I could still have Disney Princess cakes! I digress.

I’m going to be forty!!! In ten years, that is. As I approach my 30th birthday tomorrow, Meg Ryan’s voice from When Harry Met Sally keeps ringing in my ears. I’ve always approached birthdays with excitement and I’ve celebrated that I’ve been blessed with another year of life. But when June hit this year (out of nowhere I might add, I had no idea it was coming up so soon) I was surprised to find that I did not feel ready to celebrate turning thirty. All of a sudden I realized that three decades of my life were over, and I’ll never get that time back. I’ve been looking back over the last thirty years in my mind and trying to figure out what I’d change and what I want the next thirty years to look like.

So I’m making my lists of things to do better or more of or less of or for the first time. I’m also taking stock of just how far I’ve come as a human being.

Evelyn

Liam

Mom Skills

I’m pretty proud of my mom skills most days but parenting better will always be on the list. My children are growing up waaaaaay too fast. They’re not babies anymore.  I promise in the next ten years I will finish their baby books. I just want them (the books) to be perfect, but the time really does go by so quickly and I know that pretty soon I may not remember everything as clearly as I’d like. That’s a scary thought in itself.

• Read more to Evelyn.
• Do more puzzles with Liam.
• Give them more grace and patience.
• Give myself more grace.
• Introduce them to more vegetables.
• Be more active with them.
• Cuddle with them more.
• Help them to be independent, strong, confident, and full of faith.
• And on and on it goes…

Health

For years I thought it was “my battle,” but in the last two years, I have had a “healthy-living” enlightenment. I’m fighting for health instead of against myself and my personal demons.

• Learn more about good nutrition every day.
• Be a nutrition and fitness lover, and be okay with that being a part of my identity. I am not the overweight girl I used to be.
• Exercise regularly. For a purpose. Not because I have to, but because I get to.
• Stop reaching for a number on the scale.  Reach for taking more pictures with my family without being self-conscious.

Self Worth

Value Myself. When I was about 11 years old, there was this very pretty girl, (you know the one,) she was popular and perfect in my eyes (most other girls were, I was the only weird one) and one day at recess I literally went up to her and asked her, “Are you my friend?” Can you believe it! She said yes, and I just didn’t believe her. Somewhere deep within me, I was sure she was lying to spare my poor, fat girl feelings. Maybe she was. Maybe she wasn’t. I’ll never know. But I was so embarrassed by myself that I don’t think I ever spoke to her again. I just could not believe that someone like her could ever be friends with me.

I was a very insecure girl. Over the years as I made new friends my confidence grew, but the insecurities never truly disappeared. Participating in choir and theater in high school gave me a creative outlet and an escape from family troubles.

That little girl is inside me still, full of doubt and insecurity. There is still a piece of me that wants to ask people, “Are you my friend? Do you really like me?”

• Find value in my own self-worth.
• Learn to appreciate myself and the gifts I have to offer. And offer them.
• Be confident despite fear of failure. Or the fear that people won’t like me.
• Speak my truths and censor myself less.
• Advocate for things that matter to me.
• Invest in my relationship with the Lord more. Focus on my faith.
• Value my worth as a mother and a wife.

Do More

The sky is the limit. I hope that in the next thirty years I will do more. Go more. See more. Appreciate more. Prioritize better. Follow through. Set goals, achieve goals, repeat. Volunteer more. Help more. Learn more. Forgive more. Love more. Be more open and honest. Share more. Give more. Listen more. Be a better mom. Be a better wife. Focus on my husband, appreciate and value him as my best friend, partner, and other-half, always. Be a better daughter, sister, and friend to others.

Let’s get this party started, Thirty, because before I know it, I’m going to be forty!

P.S. We are half way to Christmas. Woot woot!

Living the (Upstate) New York Life

We have officially lived in New York for a little over four weeks now. That seems impossible. I also don’t feel like we live here yet. It feels more like a very long, stressful trip. Not a vacation. Not a relocation. Just lots of displacement.

When we arrived we were placed in an apartment in Henrietta. An employee checked us in and told us our apartment was non-smoking, which was very important to us. Upon moving into the apartment we discovered we had a neighbor somewhere in the building smoking. Our dishwasher was leaking and so I called resident services and complained about the smoker, and the dishwasher; they sent out a maintenance worker who fixed the dishwasher and I told him about the smoker. He told me he would look into it and get back to me. The smoke was only bothersome when the neighbor was smoking, not all day long, which was fortunate. But it was especially bad in the evenings (you know, when the office is closed). In the second week I called again to complain about the smoker; once again I was told they would look into it and call me back, and they never did. In the third week (on a Friday evening) I called again and this time they sent out a maintenance worker who verified that someone in the apartment upstairs was smoking; he said he couldn’t tell her to stop and we’d have to call management on Monday morning.

Monday morning I called management and they told me that I was, in fact, in a smoking building. Now, this was incredibly irritating to me because it took four people to determine that, and on top of that, I would not have known this was a smoking building by the signs on the building that say “designated non-smoking building” or the stickers on the windows to our entrance that designate non-smoking. She informed me that the non-smoking building was the entrance next door to ours, and not to our “section” of the building. And that the stickers on the entrance to our building only meant that you couldn’t smoke in the common hallway. Three weeks and four people later we finally figured out that we were in a smoking building. Then they tell us that they have no available non-smoking apartments.

We called Barkley’s employer, and amazingly they found us a non-smoking hotel that accepts dogs. So that very day I packed up all our stuff moved us over to the hotel. I’m so grateful for this hotel. Words can’t express it.

Before we moved to the hotel, though, the kids did get to see snow for the very first time! Evelyn just sat down in it and said over and over, “It’s so beautiful.” Melt my heart. They have enjoyed playing in it, but we can only go out for a few minutes at a time because we don’t really have the proper snow gear yet. And since it’s March/April stores aren’t selling winter gear anymore!

First snow!

All smiles!

I tried.

I feel soooo much better now that we are in a hotel. On top of there not being cigarette smoke everywhere, the hotel also provides complimentary breakfast every morning and coffee all day long.

COFFEE. ALL. DAY.

Hotel breakfast, yum!

I’ve been trying to exercise regularly since we arrived. At the apartment I was having to walk in 25-degree weather across the complex at 5:30 in the morning to get to the gym. At the hotel, I get to walk down a cozy, warm hallway. A-mazing. And the elliptical is brand new and full of cool functions I could never have imagined. I want one.

 

Perfect mini-gym with the elliptical of my dreams!

 

We are hoping to close on our house in two weeks, and (is it crazy to say?) I’m incredibly excited that the previous owner is leaving behind a treadmill. We are planning on setting up a little home gym space in the basement. This is going to be awesome because I’ll be able to workout in my own private area before the kids wake up every morning.

We are a little frustrated with the process of closing on a house in New York and I’m afraid things will be delayed, but fingers crossed, we will be in our new home soon.

First glimpse of our new home!

Evelyn and I have a cold; Liam had it but recovered very quickly and so far, Barkley has been spared, as usual. Despite it, Barkley, Liam, and Evelyn played in the hotel pool last weekend, as there wasn’t much else to do. Liam started swimming on his own with his new floaties. We haven’t done much swimming them, despite being from Florida, so I was glad to see him enjoying it so much. In the past, Evelyn really didn’t like getting in swimming pools. She really doesn’t like it when water touches her face. At first, she got a little upset, but after a few minutes she really started enjoying it, even when her face got wet. It’s been amazing to see Barkley and the kids get closer now that they have a regular schedule and routine, and they’re getting to spend so much more time together. Family bonding!!!

 

We’ve done very little sightseeing outside of searching for a home, mostly libraries and parks, lol. We visited the library that’s closest to the new house, and I couldn’t help but be a little bit sad as I miss our library in Florida where I spent so many days with the kids. This library is super small but quaint and cozy. The kids liked it! I’m hopeful we’ll have many fond memories here, too.

We went to Powder Mills Park and fed fish in the Hatchery there. It was fun for about five minutes, but I was terrified the kids were going to fall in the ponds. Lol.

Last weekend we went to Gennessee Valley Park which had a gorgeous river with trails, bridges, pavilions, and a playground.

Genessee Valley Park

The weekend before Barkley went to play basketball with some of his co-workers and he tore a muscle (or sprained a muscle, I’m not sure what the doctor said) in his knee. He’s recovering slowly but doing okay. No MRI needed for now. Just long walks in parks and swimming in our free time.

I’m trying to think of any other adventures we’ve had since arriving in Rochester. Nothing else comes to mind.

This week and next are busy with several appointments for Evelyn’s evaluations for physical, occupational, and speech therapy. Prayers that we are led in the right direction and find the best caretakers to help nurture Evelyn and help her grow. This is such an exciting and terrifying thing for me, as a mom.

Speaking of moms… Mine is scheduled to come visit in two weeks, assuming we close on and move into our house on time. Of course, I’m counting down the days to her visit and so looking forward to seeing her. I think Barkley is looking forward to having her here to babysit so we can have a date night (and because he misses her, too, of course). And I’m planning on taking her to a tearoom that I’ve had my eye on since we moved 😉 We might even take the kids to see Zootopia, which would be their first official movie in a theater!

More on our adventures in New York soon!

Relocating to Rochester, New York

Today is the day that I finally sit down and write an update. I think I’ve been writing blogs in my head as my inner dialogue throughout the past year but never made time to sit down and write them out. There is so much I could share.

The biggest news is that our family has relocated to Rochester, New York! I’m currently sitting in our temporary (and tiny) two-bedroom apartment wishing we were in a more permanent place already. There’s a long list of things that I don’t like about living in this apartment, but I’m trying to be positive. I have to say that so far I actually like New York very much. The last four weeks have been a blur for me. Barkley came home from his 7-week training and we were immediately in get-ready-to-move-mode.

We had a party at Trailblazer Park in Lake Mary; it doubled as the kids’ birthday party and as a goodbye party. It was a beautiful day and I’m so grateful we were able to do that before we moved.

Evelyn, Me, Liam, and Barkley

Caitlin and me!

Daddy and Daughter

Caitlin, Evelyn, Me, and Kim!

Cool Dude

Next we celebrated their birthdays with family at Disney World. We went to the Akershus Royal Banquet Hall in Epcot’s Norway for dinner and we met Aurora, Ariel, Belle, Cinderella, and of course, Snow White. Evelyn was in heaven; and so was I, actually. It really was a magical day. I think I might need to write an entire post just detailing that whole day.

After Disney, we spent two days with movers packing up our house and saying goodbye to all our belongings (they are currently in a storage facility in Buffalo) and our first home. I have moved into a new residence at least every two years since I was four years old. Our home in Deltona was the first home we ever bought; we purchased it when Evelyn was just one week old. Our kids took our first steps there, ate their first foods, learned their first words, and so much more. We lived there for almost four years. It’s a record for me!

I know that with Barkley’s new job we will be relocating again a few times and I’m trying to prepare myself for that reality. It will be difficult to settle in knowing that it won’t be for long. We are working hard to reach financial peace so that someday we can build a dream home and settle in for the long haul. Sigh.

The kids did really well on their first airplane flight. We were very lucky to get a non-stop flight which made everything run fairly smooth.

First Flight!

Reading on the plane

Our temporary apartment is in Henrietta, and it seems like most of the businesses we are familiar with are in this area so that is helpful. I miss the familiarity of Publix and find that the popular grocery store here, Wegmans, is overwhelming. Instead I like the less popular, Tops. I did find a Trader Joes, which is amazing, I’d never been to one before.

As for our apartment, the walls are thin and I can hear everything the neighbors above and next door are doing; watching tv, listening to music, their children screaming (every night at 9:30), their dogs running back and forth. It’s a bit unsettling. And even though we are in a non-smoking complex, someone, somewhere is smoking and every now and then the cigarette smoke comes through our furnace and fills our apartment with the smell which makes me sick. I can’t wait to be out of here.

Last weekend, we found a house in Walworth and put in an offer. Now we are going through the motions and hoping to close by April 30th. We are spending all our free time daydreaming about how to set up the new house and make it our own. I am very much missing our old home. A few times the kids have said, “Mommy, can we go home?” and it breaks my heart every time. I just try to explain that this is our new home now and they kind of shrug and say, “okay.” I’m not sure just how much they are comprehending of this, but I think, and hope, they are handling things fairly well.

They had their wellness visits with their new pediatrician and I loved her. She spent almost two hours with us talking about their entire history, and gave me lots of information about the schools here and how to get Evelyn all the services she needs. Now I’m on the course of getting Evelyn appointments with a Developmental Pediatrician and new therapists, and registering her for preschool.

Barkley is loving his new job. The best part about this move is seeing him happy every day. For the last eight years every time he has come home from work and I’ve asked, “How was your day?” the answer has been “fine.” Now he is all smiles and loves to talk about what he’s doing and where he’s going and how everyone he is working with is wonderful. They’ve reached out to us and made us feel welcome here.

It’s been absolutely wonderful to have him home for dinner every night of the week and to have weekends off with him. Yesterday was his birthday and we were able to spend the whole day celebrating. We went to two different farms to see NY’s annual Maple Weekend where the farms have samples of their syrup, demonstrations on how they make it, and pancake breakfasts. It was pretty cold so we didn’t stay long but it was a neat and different experience.

Of course, we’ve been to the library for Evelyn. Actually, we’ve gone to three libraries. First we went to one in Monroe County because that is where Barkley’s office is located and I thought we’d end up in that county. Then when we started searching for housing I thought we might end up in Ontario County so I took them to the library there. Finally, when we found the home we are going to purchase I took them to what will now be “our library” in Wayne County, it’s about four minutes from the house! It’s super small and cute, and there are a lot of activities for kids and adults, too.

It has been very cold here. Well, more cold than what we are accustomed to, and while it has snowed a few times, last night was the first snow that stuck. We woke up this morning and bundled the kids up to go out and play in the snow first thing. They loved it. Mom and Dad had to pull them back inside when we got too cold! Evelyn just kept saying, “It’s so beautiful!”

I’ve been so overwhelmed with settling in the last three weeks that I didn’t get to write individual birthday posts for the kids. I’m pretty sad about that. On their actual birthdays we just did little stuff like take Liam to the playground and Evelyn to the library.

I’m sure there is so much more that I could share, but I’ll stop here for now. Maybe I’ll actually do a post about our big Disney day soon!

Happy 3rd Birthday, Princess

Last week, I wrote about my Charming Stunt Man turning two years old. Today I get to write about my Princess turning three years old tomorrow!

I wish there was a nicer term than bookworm for book lovers. My daughter especially. My little two… er, make that… three (choking back tears) year old loves to read books. Constantly. She wants to read from the moment she wakes up until the moment she goes to bed. Occasionally she will take a break to watch Frozen or Snow White or Dumbo (her favorites) but she’d honestly prefer to read the stories. And the best place to read them is in my lap. Or your lap. Anyone’s lap will do really. But it’s always best to share the book.

Did I mention she loves Snow White? She dressed up as Snow White for Halloween and absolutely loves her dress and wears it as often as she can. She even requested to wear it to church a few weeks ago.

Don’t worry, she loves all the other Princesses, too! I always joke that she looks like Merida, reads like Belle, sings like Aurora, loves purple like Rapunzel, is as sweet as Snow White and as kind as Cinderella.

She has come so far in her three little years. I’m amazed every day at how strong and capable she is becoming. I had many fears in her first two years about her health. Now those days seem like a distant memory–which is difficult in itself, where is the time going!?

She has been in Physical Therapy, Speech Therapy, and Occupational Therapy for nearly two years and today was her last visit to all three. It was bittersweet. We were so blessed to have the Early Steps program which helped cover the cost of her therapies. Without it, Evelyn wouldn’t have had the help she needed for the last two years. I’m so grateful for all of the therapists that helped her grow, learn, and thrive. In all honesty, they helped me, too. They gave me guidance and reassurance that my little girl was going to be okay and I’m so thankful for them. Now we will venture into new experiences and will be looking into preschool for Evelyn in the fall.

She is a reluctant big sister. I would love to be able to say that she adores her little bro the way he adores her but I wouldn’t be telling the truth. It’s easy to see that she loves her little brother, but most of the time she really wants him to settle down and just let her read her books in peace. Some of their most precious moments together are reading books or when they’re side by side in a shopping cart and are forced to spend time together in close proximity. I hope that the closeness in their ages will help them to grow closer over the years. She certainly takes charge and acts her part as the oldest sibling, always telling him when he needs to go to time out or say he’s sorry.

She still loves to sing. She knows all of the Disney Princess songs as well as many songs from the radio. She does an awesome rendition of the alphabet song, too.

She’s talking up quite a storm these days. We are actually starting to have conversations! Of course they usually go something like:

Evelyn: “Mommy, can I read in my room?”

Mommy: “How about we read in the living room with Liam?” (Otherwise Liam will tear your room apart.)

Evelyn: “Mommy read me Wishes & Dreams” (her favorite Princess Look n’ Find book)”

We read the book and two minutes later….

Evelyn: “I sit on Mommy’s lap and read Wishes & Dreams again?”

I wish I could write all night about my little girl. But I suppose I should go to sleep so that I can spend all day tomorrow in awe of her third birthday. Once again, I ask, can this next year go a little slower, please? Here’s to another year of more music and books with my darling Evelyn Rose.

Happy 3rd Birthday, my sweet Princess!

My Charming Stunt Man

My sweet ‘Charming.’ Next week he turns two years old. I can’t fathom how quickly my children are growing up. 

Liam really is charming. He’s sensitive and sweet.  Every night when I tuck him in his crib he blows me a kiss. Sometimes several. He melts my heart. When we watch Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, he cries and runs to me for comfort when he thinks the Huntsman is going to hurt Snow White and is visibly relieved when she gets help from the forest animals. He makes an awesome cup of pretend tea and always sets out the saucers and tea cups by color. He makes sure the teddy bears get to try the imaginary tea, too. Very considerate. 

When I put him in time out (yes, that does happen) he immediately says, “I’m sorry!” and throws open his arms for a hug. He worships his big sister. He does everything she does, the good and the bad (“We do not throw cups…”)

He loves to help me with laundry and dishes, and wants desperately to vacuum on his own.

 

He likes order and routine. If Barkley tries to sit on the couch instead of in his recliner Liam will grab his hand and attempt to pull him off the couch. Then he’ll point to the recliner as if to say, “That is your chair. You sit there. Always.”

He is a ‘Stunt Man.’ That’s his other nickname. He climbs ladders on playgrounds and somersaults off the couch! 

He has the best giggle, especially when being tickled. He loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (the tv show.) He has a Mickey Mouse that he sleeps with every night and absolutely adores. He loves to snuggle under lots of blankets. And sometimes he sleeps with his bottom in the air… Cutest thing ever.

 

 

My little cuddle bug that entered this world screaming like a peacock (not a joke, literally a peacock) two years ago is growing up. And I am so proud of the young boy he his becoming. I hope he never loses his sensitivity and charm or his happy giggles and cuddly warmth. I’m looking forward to watching him grow and change over the next year, all I ask is, can it go a little slower?

Liam

 

Happy 2nd Birthday, my Charming Stunt Man! Mommy loves you!

 

A Forgotten Post… About Being a Mom

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Very often I start writing a blog and then I save it as a draft and come back to it later. I’d say 1 out of every 5 blogs I write actually gets posted. I realized that I haven’t posted in a few months and thought it was time to get to it! Low and behold, while skimming through old, unfinished posts I came across one that I titled “I’m a Mom.” Now folks, when I say it’s an old post, I mean it. I wrote it over a year ago. And just like reading an old journal entry it was interesting to see where I was at the time compared to where I am now. I thought it might be interesting to share the old, forgotten post and then follow up on it today.

Without further ado.

“I’m a Mom” – July 2013

For the past three years, essentially since our wedding, we have been getting on a budget, paying down our (my) debts, and becoming adults. You know: starting a family, buying our first house, all those very “grown-up” things.  You’d think that being married with two children would make me feel like an adult, but in truth sometimes I still feel too young and ill-prepared to handle being an adult.

I have two children and I am a stay-at-home mom, but the reality that I am someone’s Mommy is still surreal to me. I was given the title the moment she was conceived, and I earned it through nine months and one tough labor and delivery. But while I identify myself as a daughter, sister, wife, friend, musician, and artist, I’m still astounded that I am also a Mom. Even more astounding that I am a mom of two! Perhaps it will hit me when my children call me by name. For now Evelyn calls everyone Dada. That’s not one bit frustrating… I digress.

I am a Mom. And by all means, my age and life choices, I am an adult. I make adult decisions. I have adult responsibilities. I am a role model to my children. I am judged by parents and non-parents alike every time I enter Target or Publix. How will her children behave? Some days passersby marvel at how well behaved my babies are. Other days… Well, let’s not think of those days.

Dave Ramsey calls the stage we are in living like no one else, so that later we can really live like no one else. It means that we are attacking our debt with every dollar we earn. It means we live on less than we make. It means no movies, no dates, no travel, and no unnecessary purchases. It means people look at you funny when you pull out a stack of envelopes filled with cash and choose the one labeled FOOD when you buy groceries. It means saying no to yourself a lot. Every day. But every time I say no, I feel a little bit more like an adult. I know that in three years when we are debt free I will thank myself for saying no and I am so looking forward to that financial freedom.

Present day – 

I am a MOM!!! And I feel like it. What a difference a year can make. Both my babies call me mama and it’s the best sound in the world. I have navigated my way through two and half years of dirty diapers, first foods, nap times, playground boo-boos, midnight fevers (and ER trips), MRI’s and numerous Specialists, and come out the other side a much more confident, stronger person. Dare I say it, an adult. There are still days filled with parent-doubt, mom-guilt, and fatigue, but overall I can say that I’ve grown as a human being.

Reclaiming passion, purpose, and sanity. Sounds good to me!

I’ve set a new goal to read one non-fiction book per month for the next year. This month’s book is The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers by Dr. Meg Meeker. The first chapter alone has struck a chord with me. It’s about accepting my value as a mom and understanding my self-worth. We, moms, are in a constant state of worry about our children: their health, their safety, their happiness, and if we are getting it all right as a parent (all the while knowing we are doomed, because there is no way to get it all right. Not to mention that we all have a different perception of what is right.) 

It is liberating to read that my value to my children is simply my being with them and not how many words they know or how much organic food they eat. We each have strengths and weaknesses, and as a mom, it’s a relief to know that even if I’m not getting it all right I can still celebrate my strengths as a mom and work on my weaknesses, too. So I want to take a minute to boast. It’s unlike me to do so, so bear with me. It is so easy for me to recognize all the things I wish I did better as a mom, but instead, I want to recognize five things that are important to me as a mom that I feel like I’m doing well with my kids. 

1. Schedule – My kids (and I) love a good routine. We have our routine down-pat and we are all happier when we follow our routine. But if we miss a nap… watch out! (Notice I said we.)

 

Story Time!

2. Reading – My kids love books! I can’t take credit for Evelyn, I think she would read books all day long even if I wasn’t there. But I’m so proud of how excited they get when we read books. It’s the best part of every day.

 

3. Clean/Messy Ratio – Kids will be kids and that means that messy = fun. That said, I think we’ve been doing a great job of learning to clean up the fun at the end of every day. They’re learning the difference between messy and organized. And why it’s important to stay organized (Evelyn thinks it’s so you can always find the book you want to read. So true, so true.) And I’m learning why it’s important to get messy, to have fun, and laugh more.

4.  My nutrition and health – Getting my kids to eat healthy food will probably be an ongoing process for many, many, many years. Some days they do very well, other days it’s PB&J and Mac n’ Cheese. However, I’m proud of the progress I’ve made with my health since my children were born. In the last year and a half (since Liam was born) I’ve lost over 70 pounds. Learning to live a healthy lifestyle doesn’t happen overnight, but because I have two happy children looking up to me every day I’m making huge strides.

5. Memory keeping – I’m doing my best to stay somewhat organized so that my kids will have tons of photos, videos, and books to look back on their wonderful childhood. (This is probably mostly for my sake, though.)

Now I’ll go work on our organic meal plan just to throw it aside and have mac n’ cheese.

What strengths are you proud of as a parent? Comment below and we can empower each other!

Updates on our Little Ones

We got the great news on Thursday that we are having a boy! I’m twenty weeks along (half way through the pregnancy) and feeling pretty good, albeit exhausted. Our little boy will be named Liam Barkley Finsterbush! So far he is doing very well; functioning organs, good spine, steady heart beat, four limbs… everything this Mom wanted to hear. I’m very excited to start planning a baby shower for him in January and to start picking out handsome little outfits, too!

If you’re friends with Barkley or me on Facebook then you’ve probably seen Barkley’s latest status update asking for prayers for Evelyn. I’m sure many of you are curious to know why we asked that of you, so if you’re interested, here are more details.

At Evelyn’s four month visit to the pediatrician she weighed in at 16 lbs 2 oz. Up until then she was gaining weight steadily and in the 95th-100th percentile for her weight and height. A week or two before her six month visit she had her first cold. We took her in to see the pediatrician early and she weighed in at 16 lbs. She should’ve gained a minimum of two pounds between four and six months.
The pediatrician said the lack of weight gain could be because of the cold and she returned a week later for her regular six month appointment for vaccinations, with no change. He then asked that instead of waiting to see her at the nine month visit, he wanted to see her back at seven months to ensure that she started gaining weight again. Yesterday we returned to the pediatrician with high hopes, but unfortunately she weighed in at 15 lbs 11 oz. So now she’s losing weight and is in the 25th percentile within a matter of 3 months.

Our pediatrician has offered many possible reasons for this, including the fact that my pregnancy began around the time she stopped gaining weight, which means my breast milk might not be providing enough nutrients for her, because they’re all going to Liam. Secondly, the weight issue coincided with her starting solid foods, which means she might not be digesting her solids well.  Hopefully, with some adjustments to her diet and beginning to supplement with some formula, we might see some improvement.

In addition to her weight plateau, and now loss, Evelyn hasn’t been meeting all of her “milestones” on time. For example, she’s supposed to roll over in one direction by six months, sit up on her own by seven months, and be babbling consonants like da-da, ma-ma, goo-goo, etc by now. She is still struggling to do all of those. After examining her yesterday our pediatrician concluded that her muscle mass was weak and could be contributing to her having difficulty in those areas.We’ve been referred to a Pediatric Neurologist for further testing. The Neurologist will be better able to diagnose any early signs of muscular disorders or provide us with answers about her weight loss. So that’s where we are right now. Waiting to see a neurologist for further help.

I’d like to assure everyone that aside from her weight and physical development she is doing very well. She is meeting most of her other milestones, especially the cognitive ones, which is very important.

I had suspected that her odd sleeping patterns (which she has dictated herself up until now) were not allowing her to get enough rest (she needs 13-14 hours a day).  She was very often cranky and irritable. A few days ago Barkley and I decided to try some sleep training techniques via the book The Sleep Easy Solution. It requires us to be very strict in the timing of her naps and bedtimes and wake times which is a bit challenging for us. Barkley’s ever-changing work schedule always throws us off and it limits our ability to go anywhere. I say that knowing that we’ve only been doing this for two days.

Get the book on Amazon here!

 

The very first night required that I let her cry in her crib a lot longer than I normally would have liked, but by yesterday she cried significantly less, and last night (night 2) she slept from 7 pm to 6 am without a problem (I still have to set my alarm every 2-3 hours to rouse her gently and nurse her, though.) In comparison, before she would go to sleep in our arms, any time she liked between 8 pm and 11 pm. And then cry to wake me in the middle of the night to nurse. I think she was only getting 10-11 hours of sleep before, including daytime naps and nighttime, and now we’re guaranteeing her 14 hours every day. She’s taking her second nap of the day today, as I write this blog.

I’m amazed at how quickly she’s learning to soothe herself to sleep. I can tell already that the extra rest has helped her disposition. She’s hardly been cranky today, and seems to enjoy playtime and exercise with a lot more interest.

Oh, and last but not least, she cut her first tooth last week.

I think that is a complete update of everything! We really appreciate all your thoughts and prayers for Evelyn’s health, and for Liam’s continued health and steady growth. Love to everyone!

[UPDATE 2017: Read how the Sleep Easy book really helped us here!]