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Motherhood is full of joy and wonder, but it can also be stressful juggling multiple jobs that are all rolled into one. Every mom has different expectations about motherhood. Sometimes, for me, it can feel like society expects me to be able to “do it all” (with grace and strength) and still take care of myself, to boot. I’ve noticed a growing trend that moms are prioritizing their health and devoting more of their energy to self-care in the hopes that taking care of themselves will lead to being a better mother and person, all around. I wholly support that claim. But while it’s true we need to take care of ourselves, as well as our family members, that is easier said than done.
I remember when my daughter was born having an overwhelming feeling that life had not prepared me to be a mother. The only prerequisite I needed to be a mom, was getting pregnant. I didn’t have to study nursing or childhood development or nutrition, and yet I was expected to take home this tiny infant and give it optimal care for all of its needs without any training or education. I couldn’t afford to take those Lamaze and newborn classes at the hospital. I read books. A lot of books. Anyway, I’m getting off topic here. My point is that juggling motherhood, marriage, career, and yourself takes a lot of effort.
Very often when my to-do list starts overflowing, beyond what I feel capable of accomplishing, the first items that get taken off the list are my self-care items, like exercising and eating well. But I know just how much exercise helps me to manage stress, and feel good throughout the day, so it’s important to me to make it a priority.
A little over a year ago I made the decision to stop counting calories and focus more on the quality of food I was eating. But I still wanted some way to be responsible and accountable to myself, so that I could see just how often I would indulge in a sweet treat, or a savory meal out. And just how often was I actually exercising?
Enter: My Accountability Chart
I put the items that I wanted to keep track of on a daily basis on this chart so that I could check them off every single day. For me that includes:
1. Having a protein shake. My morning shake is my little ritual and I love that my son loves them, too, and asks for one every morning. It’s my way to start the day focused and feeling fresh. I don’t have to overthink about what to eat for breakfast either. I use Garden of Life Raw Chocolate with almond milk, frozen bananas, and occasionally peanut butter.
2. Having a salad. This is part of my effort to eat better quality foods and specifically more vegetables. I grew up with a bitter resentment toward all-things-salad because as a child I was constantly dieting and eating terribly bland, boring salads. Which always felt like a punishment for being an overweight child. I’m learning to reinvent my perception about salads by scouring Instagram for creative salad recipes daily. Making salad more exciting has helped me to change my overall diet. Dr. Joel Furhman recommends in his book The End of Dieting (one of my faves, click the link to get the book!) that we should strive to eat at least one big salad every day. So it goes on my chart!
3. Taking my vitamins (which I forget to do more than anything else). This one is pretty simple. I need to take my multi-vitamin, so I put it in the chart. Check.
4. Indulging. Whether it’s indulging in sweets or a big meal out, it can be so easy to mindlessly say yes to a free cupcake at a fair on Saturday, a cookie after church on Sunday, pizza on Monday night after a busy day, and on and on, creating an indulgence snowball throughout the week. Way too late in life, I heard a snippet from Sesame Street about how cookies are a “sometime treat,” and it really struck me.
I recently watched a video that Jen Widerstrom has on her YouTube, about how she doesn’t have cheat meals or cheat days. She says her indulgences are more like moments in time, where she’ll have a small indulgence like a donut, and then it’ll be six months before she has a donut again. I don’t see a future where I go six months without celebrating a birthday with a slice of birthday cake or the random sweet treat because hey, I love sweets. But having the ability to simply make a check mark on the chart when I do indulge helps me be mindful of when my “sometime treats” actually happen. (And I’m also learning more about how to indulge wisely with better nutrition.) I aim to only indulge once per week and I don’t count calories, I just make the check mark and move on. Two days later I might not remember having indulged but it’ll help me to make a better choice because I can say ‘no’ to that cupcake or cookie or pizza because I have a checkmark that says my body is not ready for me to indulge again. Btw, Jen Widerstrom has a new book called, Diet Right for Your Personality Type: The Revolutionary 4-Week Weight-Loss Plan That Works for You (click the link to get your copy). While I’ve just spouted that “I’m not going to diet anymore,” umm…. I’m still going to read this book. Because the term “diet” aside, I am still on a journey to get to a healthy weight, and my thirst for knowledge and to learn from the experts is strong. What books about nutrition would you recommend for me? Comment and let me know!
5. Reading scripture. I didn’t grow up with religion. I’m honestly still not very comfortable talking about my spiritual journey. I will tell you that when I became pregnant with my daughter six years ago, I felt a very strong pull to learn more about religion, and Christianity, in particular. My husband and I began to attend church and our lives have been so enriched because of it. One of the things that I’m trying to do now is read the Bible. Some friends introduced me to an awesome scripture app made by The Bible Project. I highly recommend it! If you’d like to read and learn more about the Bible, or just want to study Christianity itself, it is a wonderful resource. The creators of The Bible Project are incredibly creative in their delivery of the material, they make amazing, easy-to-understand videos that go along with the readings, and they break down reading the Bible into small sessions, making it less daunting… Go watch. They’re awesome. And because making a commitment to reading scripture is important to me, it goes on the accountability chart!
6. Exercise: for all the reasons I listed above. Exercise, especially strength training, makes me feel strong and capable. It sets me up for a more productive day. I’ve had, what I would call an identity crisis of sorts for about the last fifteen years, and here’s why: when my weight started creeping up as a child my parents made me join a gym. I’ve been exercising and dieting since I was at least twelve years old. I have lost weight and gained weight and lost it again more times than I can count. I have had at least five personal trainers. I am constantly reading and researching about nutrition and fitness. I have been to psychologists to discuss potential eating disorders and to physicians about potential medical issues (btw, the Psych said I’m fine, and so has every Doc, so no excuses here.) And yet, I have been consistently overweight throughout the last two decades. Let me clarify, that I’m using the term “overweight” based on my BMI, just one measure of health. My BMI has been in the overweight category for 15+ years. In the past, I would rarely mention to anyone that I exercise or diet, because I automatically hear in my head what I think their thoughts would be, she exercises? You couldn’t tell. She needs to exercise more. She diets? You couldn’t tell. She needs to diet more.
So while more than half of my life has been focused on, nay dedicated to the pursuit of good health, exercising, and eating well, and it is a huge part of my personal identity, I’m not sure that many people in my life would really know that about me. I’m trying to change that. Starting with the end of dieting and a true passion for wellness and nutrition, and starting to share with people that, “Hey, I exercise! And I like it! I’m a health-nut! And it’s all part of who I am!”
I’m still working on getting stronger, and leaner, and accepting that this is a forever journey, not an end goal. Each day that I wake up I’m striving to be a better version of myself than yesterday.
7. Notes. These notes could be anything from what type of exercise I did that day to if I wasn’t feeling well or if there was a big event, pretty much anything I want to jot down quickly and remember.
8. The last category, but certainly not the least, is Feel Healthy. Did I make good choices that day and feel good about myself? Even if indulge, even if I miss a workout, at the end of the day, was I happy? I’m aiming to make a checkmark in this column every single day.
My accountability chart has 30 days per page. This is a great way to quickly glance at my progress over a short period of time. I can see if I really did “exercise 5-6 days a week” or if I indulged too many times. Or if I kept up reading my scripture!
Here’s my chart filled in with my categories: Stephanie’s Accountability Chart. Click the link to download the PDF or right click the image below to save the JPEG.
Want to fill in your own categories? Here’s an Accountability Chart with Blank Categories. Same deal, click the link to download the PDF or right click the image to save the JPEG.
What categories would you put on this chart? Comment below and let me know!
Do More
Sense and Stephanie 